Tracks of My Tears
by marinajlf
Summary: A collection of tragic, angsty one-shots. Mainly Bade,possibly some other stuff in the future.
1. Chapter 1

**Rated T for implied suicide and character death. **

**It's really angsty and sad! I know there are lots of angst stories out there in the Victorious Fandom, but I just really love writing them. Also, I'm thinking about making this into a collection of random angsty oneshots. Probably will be mostly Bade, but maybe some other stuff, too.**

**So, sorry about this, I guess.**

_I walk over to the door of his RV. I can understand now why he wanted to do this in private. I'm glad. At least no one saw me like this. _

_He just looks at me, no trace of any emotion on his face._

_"Why?" I ask him. "Wasn't I good enough?"_

_He doesn't respond. I get out of the door before the tears can begin to fall._

*End Flashback*

Now, she stands over his grave. Wishing that at least they could have been _together_, before he went.

Now, she pulls out her favorite pair of scissors. The ones he gave to her, moments before he left her that day, three years ago.

_"I want you to have these," He had said. "To remember me by."_

_"What do you mean?" She had asked, obvlivious to what was about to happen._

_"I'm leaving you, Jade."_

They're black, which she supposes is fitting for the situation.

Now, they'll be together forever.

If only he could have told her some things.

Like that he only did it to protecther.

Like that he killed himself because he couldn't stand seeing the sadness and the pain etched onto her face every day.

Like that he had never stopped loving her, not once.

If only he could take it all back.

If only he could take her back.

If only she had read the letter he had left her! But she had burned it. She wanted nothing to do with the man who broke her heart.

They had both hurt because of the others' actions. Hell, they had both DIED because of the others' actions.

But at least now they're together forever.

**So... yeah. It's sad. And, oh yeah, I don't own Victorious. I could have gone back and written that at the top, but I'm too lazy too move my mouse all the way up there... :P**

**Anywho, do you think I should continue writing oneshots like these and add them on? If you think I should, I will, and if you don't think I should, I will anyway. Hey, maybe you'll think I'm a little sadistic because of this, but I kinda enjoy writing them...**

**Oh, and this isn't about the song, Tracks of My Tears (Which I also do not own), I just like the name. **


	2. Chapter 2

**Okay, so this story is written in Beck's point of view. Sorry if he seems a little OOC... **

**Disclaimer: Yeah, because Dan Schneider is really a 13 year old girl. **

**That's really all I have to say... so just read it already! :P**

I decide it's time to go visit you. You're right nearby me, but somehow, it only makes me more sad to know that I never seem to have time for you.

I walk down the path. Open the familiar wrought-iron gate. There are plenty of others here, but my eyes go straight to you.

I take a deep breath and walk inside. I sit down next to you.

"Hey," I say quietly. You don't answer. You never do. "I've missed you," I say. "So much."

"I can't believe you just _left _us like that. It ruined us. All of us. Even Tori was upset, and you know how much she didn't like you."

Again, you say nothing. You always were a stubborn one.

"And the rest of them- Cat is just broken. We had to take her to a fucking mental hospital! We had to have her locked up! Robbie is the one she recognizes the most. But she's- she's broken. I don't think she's ever going to get better."

I want to take your hand. I want to hold you again. But I know I can't. It's too late for that.

"Andre is still sort of shocked, I think. Even though it's been a year."

"But I still just can't understand _why. _Why would you do that to yourself? I know your parents hurt you, and they hated you, but I was always here for you. I don't know what else was going on in your life, but you could have told me. I would have helped you."

I take out a letter and lay it down on your grave. They would understand once they read it.

"Now... I just can't live life like this anymore. Wishing I could go back in time, to see what was going on. To help you. I can't live my life missing you, every second of every day. I know I'll never find another like you."

I take out the gun, hold it to the side of my head.

"I love you."

**I swear, I almost made myself cry writing this one! ;(**

**But I think the next one isn't going to be Bade. And probably I should lay off the suicide a little... hmm... maybe. :)**

**Anyway, I'll probably keep writing a few chapters today, cuz I'm feeling angsty today...**

**Feel free to tell me any ideas for future chapters! **

**See that little button down there? His name is Review Button. He's getting lonely. Maybe you should go introduce yourself! :)**

**P.S. If any of you are reading my other story, Jade Meets Beck, I'm probably gonna update soon, I already have the chapter written. **


	3. Chapter 3

**Hi hi! This is a little bit of a Bori story... so Beck dumps Jade, and gets together with Tori, and that's really all I can say without ruining it. I didn't want to do this, cuz no offense anyone, but I HATE Bori. I mean, can't you see that Beck and Jade were meant to be together? But it was just one of those things, where an idea gets into my head and I just have to write it down...**

**By the way, it's in Jade's point of view this time. **

**Disclaimer: Sigh... if only... But no. **

I watch them, every day. Watch them laugh together, sit together, hug, kiss. Watch him tell her that he loves her.

It's usually at that point that I have to look away.

I can't show them any weakness, can't let them know how much it hurts me.

But sometimes I can't help it.

If only I could have been a better girlfriend! Then we would still be together. But Tori was so much better than me. Anyone could see that.

I guess it's too late now. For weeks, I begged and pleaded for him to come back to me, to no avail.

And now I have nothing. I lost it all that day, and now I have no reason to live.

If only Tori would die. Just disappear off of the face of the earth. Only then would I be happy. And slowly, a plan begins to form in my mind.

Slowly, the school day ends, and by the time day turns into night, my plan is ready.

Tonight, Tori decides she has too much homework to hang out with Beck. _I would have never done that, _I think to myself, _I would have gladly failed a class, just to be with him. _

I check to make sure no one else is at her house. Good. All alone.

She closes the door behind her, but doesn't bother to lock it. Silently, I open the door. She's humming a little song, but when she hears footsteps she turns around.

She says my name. I pull out a gun. She screams. I hear a car pull up in the driveway. But it's too late to turn back now.

I pull the trigger on her.

Blood sprays up, covering my shirt.

The front door opens.

"Tor- OMIGOD TORI!" It's Beck. He runs too her, but he knows it's too late.

I laugh.

He turns around. "How could you?" He whispers.

"After what you did to me?" I ask. I laugh again. "That's nothing."

The gun is still in my hand. This wasn't originally in my plan, but I already wrote a note. It was, of course, to Beck. It's in my pocket right now.

I turn the gun on myself.

**Okay, I know I said I wouldn't do any more suicide, but, well, I lied. Not sure what the next one's gonna be about. **


	4. Author's Note

Sorry if you were hoping for a new chapter, but this is just an author's note.

Okay, so, obviously, I haven't updated in a while, cuz I'm kinda out of ideas for more oneshots. So... If you have any ideas, PLEASE tell me! Just leave a review telling me your idea. Or PM me, if you want. Don't worry, I'll give you credit for your idea.

And, that's all, I guess. I'll be trying to get "inspired", but the sooner you give me ideas, the sooner I can update. :)


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